i can faintly remember a time in my life when i could do the same. hours upon hours were spent in far away worlds and lands where there was always a happy ending. my backyard could become my own secret garden, where i was the princess adored by all. the best thing was that the story was never duplicated. the trials and tribulations of this princess changed daily, even hourly, but in the end, she was always loved and adored by her people. i wasn’t old enough to invent a prince who loved me. not yet, anyway
the one aspect of this amazing gift of children that i miss the most is that ability to see the unseen. they see purpose and necessity in simplicity. as adults, we would look at any old thing, and see garbage. they see novelty. a little girl’s favorite teddy bear and chief guest at her every tea party has just lost his leg in a serious accident with the house dog. the mother in this situation would see the need for a new bear. the little girl sees a new twist to Mr. Bear’s past that now includes a stint on a pirate ship.
i wish i hadn’t lost this ability to see the prospects in the world around me. or in myself. it seems as if the second that we lose this talent, we are forever on the search to find our very place in the world. that which was so sure to us before has become muddled and undecipherable. our every action is now driven with the purpose of finding who we are and what we are meant to accomplish in this world. there was a time when we knew who we were. i was my mommy’s daughter, my teacher’s pet, and my kingdom’s princess. and now all i see when i look in the mirror is a face of puzzlement, and eyes that always question the identity of who is looking back at them.
most people would say that at this stage in my life, i can’t pretend anymore. i have to live in this preset society. but maybe that world that i live in is one that i can make myself. not by imagining it into being, but by working for it. and maybe one day, i can again become that princess i always knew i was destined to be.
