i've always wished that the things i do under the cover of darkness would go erased. kind of like the ostrich theory where an ostrich sticks it's head in sand in the hopes that if it doesn't see you, you're not there. likewise, if no one saw it happen, then it didn't.
unless i myself wasn't drunk enough and happened to remember the next morning. or within a few hours when i sobered up. or when i realized that it was still staring me in the face.
i've always lived my life without regrets. this definitely doesn't mean that i haven't made mistakes (i've made plenty, i assure you), but i take the best that i can from each negative experience and try to learn from everything. it is the amalgamation of my experiences that make me who i am, after all.
i recently made an interesting decision under the cover of darkness that i almost instantly regretted. an out of character, reputation ruining, made me want to wake up to a new day decision. and this also turned out to be something that seemed to continue throughout the night, and though it was a really enjoyable night, dawn and reality both smacked me awake the next morning. i was hoping beyond hope that nothing was ruined and whatever happened would stay in that obscure darkness where it happened.
except this decision stuck with me. it was one of those things that i publicly wanted to wish away, but privately hoped wouldn't leave. and it didn't. now i realize that the darkness that i hoped would hide it completely was merely hiding what it really was: an opportunity at true happiness.
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