Chapter 89: Excuses.

i have a ton of excuses for basically everything in my life. not all bad, but not all good either. i can convince myself and others around me of why i didn't get to work on time, of why i didn't go home one weekend, of even why i haven't written in this blog for nearly a year.

there are some days, however, that the truth comes smacking me in the face from that neat little corner where i tucked it away. naturally, once i have convinced myself of my excuse (read: lie), the truth can no longer stick around since the two are at direct odds with each other. every so often, though, i have these moments where i feel like i've just woken up. as if everything i had been looking at was cloudy and the sudden rush of clarity takes my breath away. kind of like those claritin commercials.

i've made a decision to myself that these excuses can no longer be a part of my life. if i am making an excuse for something, i'll have to question my intention in making that excuse. is it something that i'm ashamed of? something i am too lazy to do? something i don't want to admit to myself? if there is anything that i can't admit outright, then it shouldn't be a part of my life. it's definitely time to be more honest with others and most of all, myself. (and with my blog, of course.)