'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. ~ alfred lord tennyson.
um, right. so in the aftermath of that industry inspired fiasco called valentine's day and my own heart being broken (yes, tear), i had to do a study on what exactly we define as that special someone.
1. someone with whom you can spend time with effortlessly and as cheesy as it sounds and someone who doesn't have to try to get to know you better. someone who just picks up on everything and eventually knows you really well... i’m going to be the cheesiest girlfriend ever
~single female, doesn’t like anyone
2. you (er, thanks?)
~single male, uninvolved
3. for me, as long as she makes me smile when she's not here or i'm not talking to her and the time we spend together is enough to carry me through until the next time
~male, long term relationship
4. uh, what?
~single female physically attached to a guy who is emotionally involved with her
5. i am a simple minded individual, what’s with these philosophical questions?
~single female, heart breaks: 1
ok, so 5 people doesn’t exactly constitute a study, but it works enough for me. my conclusion? we have no idea what we are looking for. the things that i left out of these findings are the frustrations that are felt by all. the ones who are single forever question their own self worth, asking themselves, “why not me?” they claim to be happy, but you always see their fallen faces when a couple walks by or a friend of theirs finds what she is looking for. how do you make the most confident, eloquent and no-nonsense girl stutter? ask her where her boyfriend is, and then why she doesn’t have one. all of her self-doubt will be poured into that single, hesitant, “um…”
oh no, all of you in relationships, don’t get all smug on me just yet. trust me, i know your secrets, what lies beneath that overly self-satisfying you feeling you get when you look at what seems to be pathetic singletons. what about those of you who are envious? the ones who look at the singles, and think, “why can’t i do that?” it’s not that you don’t love the person you’re with; you just loved your formal lifestyle a little more. and then what about all those questions you have? “why is he taking so long to respond to my texts? why did she completely blow me off? who is that person he’s talking to? what is she doing on that girls’ night out with her single friends who don’t like me very much to begin with?” those questions that you know you can’t exactly ask out loud since you are supposed to appear like you trust the other person. but it’s not the other person you don’t trust, it’s everyone else. or so you say.
we spend so much of our time worrying about this perfect person who will be such a complement to us. but aren’t i doing ok on my own right now? i have the most amazing friends in the world, experiences that i don’t regret for a second, and a life that is making me truly be the person that i want to be. having a someone would only add to who i am, not make me.
right? i suppose this is the logical way to look at things from a heart broken point-of-view. just wait until i get that boyfriend i can’t stop writing about.
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