Chapter 42: Obsessed.

something i found that is equal parts frightening and beautiful:

I want to be with you, near you, in your arms, under you, inside you, a part of you. I want you to be mine, forever. You will not belong to anyone else, no one else can claim you as theirs except for me. And I, you. I want you to jealously guard me from the world, and not want anyone to look at me or touch me. I want you to believe with all your heart that you are my first and my only. And I want you to believe in that so much that it becomes a reality, my reality. For what you believe, I believe, and simply is. I want us to blend so seamlessly that it’s impossible to tell where one begins and the other ends. I want you to be selfish about me, and I will be selfish about you. I want you inside me, to consume me, to make me yours, to have me yet want me, crave me, and never ever get enough of me. I want to kiss and own every inch of you, take every inch of you, and make every inch of you mine.

I want you to sink into me and feel whole when you are with me. I want you to feel bigger, fuller and more concrete when you are near me, but so full of life that you are light and free. I want to be the thing that awakens you. I want to make you feel incredible and terrible, I want to be your everything. Good, evil, light, dark, smiles, tears. I want to destroy what you were and remake you into what you are and forever shall be. I want you to erase what I was and give me life as who I will become. For as long as I am with you, you have the power to do that to me. Where I walk, you shall follow. And likewise, I, too, will be your shadow.

I want to be the person you see, the person that is reflected in your eyes as I gaze into them. I will be so much more when I am with you because you deserve the best, and that is exactly what you will make me.

And after everything, I want to understand why Adam and Eve had to be cast out from Eden. I want to understand that knowledge of this love can only serve to lift us so high that we are near the heavens, too near. The world was built and continues to exist in cycles, and we have reached a new stage in ours. What has been brought together must be undone, and so shall we. Upon reaching the zenith that you have brought me to, where else can I go but down? The force with which you raised me will be the force with which I fall to the nadir of all that is.

But as God granted us the ability to dream, so too has He given us memory. Every cell in my body will remember its counterpart in yours. What we were will be lost, but I will always look for you, for my mirror, for my very self in another, and for what we shall one day become. And one day, I will find you again. This existent I lead, this world of shadows, will be made real for you are what makes me real. You will breathe strength into me, bring the light back into my eyes, make me feel as no one else will ever be able to do. And who else can? For when we are together, no one else exists but us. because through you, I have found my purpose in this world…